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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Day 7 of Books for Women by Women - Candace Walsh






Hello Candace...nice to have you join us...
One of our cheerleaders Wendy from Why Knot Kwilt 
who cheered us all on for Wicked...did this review..



My Assigned Book ... Ask Me About My Divorce; Women Open Up About Moving On ... Edited by Candace Walsh.


What many of you may have surmised through reading my blog over the past year is that I've experienced what almost half of married couples in the United States experience. Divorce. It was not something entered into at all lightly, in fact, I would say I spent over a year or longer, fighting even the idea of it.  However, here I sit today.  Single mom of two, struggling to make ends meet, and find a balance as so many others do in similar situations.  However, I know so many wonderful, strong women, who have tread the path before me and with their examples and with some of their guidance, my story too will have a happier ending now that one chapter of my life is winding to a close and another chapter is beginning.  ... Ask Me About My Divorce; Women Open Up About Moving On is full of stories of strength, moving on, and the women who have decided to travel that road.
I will say that I was not initially drawn to read and review this book about divorce.  While divorce has been a fact of my life in many faucets throughout my years, the word itself held the full meaning of failure on my part ... however, as the tag line of this book states, 'It's time to get past the idea that divorce equals failure." 
Candace Walsh brings together an eclectic group of strong, self-aware women who probably experienced many of the same doubts and mis-beliefs that I've felt over the years, though each obviously for their own reasons.  However, what this group states, in each story shared, is that divorce does not equal failure.
Thirty women, thirty lives, thirty different stories of moving on after, for one reason or another, their relationships have come to an ending of divorce.  A few phrases that struck me as vital while sharing in these stories were:
 Who's steering the car that is your life?  Are you a passenger through your life by letting others make all your decisions because it's easier, or have you given yourself license to drive your own path as you deem most necessary to your life?
  1. Are you a vicitim of your morals?  So many say that those who succumb to divorce didn't stick to the commitment of their vows, or that the marriage doesn't mean as much to people these days if it is so easily broken apart. Ask Me ABout My Dirvorce shares many stories that differ with this view and I, for one, have high morals and was wholly committed to my vows, so can relate to these stories. 
  2. Are you married to the dance, but not the dancer?  The lady that wrote this story was a dancer, but the story was written in such a way that you have to wonder is the "dance" the dance of life and your "partner/dancer" not dancing to the same tune of harmony for happy living.
  3. Strength means being true to yourself, but it doesn't always mean being happy right this moment .... This one truly resonates as how often is one told "you are strong ..." or  "these events will make you stronger ...," but you may question how can you be so strong when you feel so miserable?  These stories, written by strong women, show that strength is there, but writing and/or living through this chapter of your life takes time and will not always be easy, nor happy... but it does get better.
  4. I was really touched with the lady who wrote "Yanking Tulips."  This lady was no gardener, but attempted to plant tulips, ending up planting them haphazardly through the yard, much to the dismay of her orderly and organization loving spouse.  However, the haphazard layout bloomed beautifully each spring, bringing great joy to the tulip planter. And when she left her home to start over, she "yanked tulips" from the ground to take with her.  Why not, they made her happy, and that happiness meant something to her ... as it should to each of us.  We should cherish that which makes us happy.  For me, it's quilting, or crafting, and yes, I can take it with me wherever I go, and cherish it no matter what anyone else thinks. 
  5. The story of the Phantom Condo brings to mind the many years of living wishful thinking ... are you actually living your life or are you residing in your phantom condo of how you "wish" your life.  Do those phantom rooms deserve to be filled .... do you deserve to live as you wish or is the misconception that divorce equals failure keeping your rooms of happiness empty? 
  6. Lastly, anyone reading this book needs to read about Eileen, who at sixty, got a badge on her bicep ... heaven only knows what she'll do for her seventieth.
This book, with its numerous stories and diversified contributors, reminds the reader to cherish your "happy."  No matter the stage of your story ... I'm just in the introductory chapters of my "story," take away from Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On, the knowledge that yes, divorce happens, but divorce isn't failure, it's just the end to one chapter and the begining of the next and you are in charge of the story being written.


Wow, Wendy( for your review)  and Candace ( for gathering the tales) 
...this is a book that will
no doubt resonate with at least 1/2 of you...



WE LOVE OUR SPONSORS
 to the following over the top generous GIFTERS 



A huge thanks to the following sponsors for offering up some very heartfelt presents for the month of December... Besides the featured Authors book each day, we will have weekly PRESENTS of the following..




From top to bottom.....Pellon is gifting 2 pillows, 1 batting for a throw, some  pillow stuffing, and some wonder under  to  2 winners who stick with Pellon!

Aurifil is gifting 4 boxes of large threads in a variety of colours to 4  lovers of threads....

Bag Lady is gifting 5 assorted frames for coin purses to 1 coin purse lover!

Reliable Corporation ( you can see close up here) is gifting 2 Sensor Irons to 2 quilters who love to iron.

Purdy's Chocolate is gifting 4 large boxes of chocolates...( I did not even peak under the wrapper, so I am not sure what is there )  to 4 lucky chocolate lovers.

Andover Fabrics is gifting 4 beautiful assorted fat quarter bundles to 4 fabric lovers...

And Seal Press will be gifting the book that is featured each day!

 Our whole month of December we cheerleaders will be celebrating all of YOU, who have been
with us for years. To our  new followers,  we will welcome you with all the warmth we can muster....

WE hope you will be visiting us and leaving lovely comments for all of our guests who have
made this month possible.... Take this time to thank those around you for all of our blessings...
It will be a very special month....

All those who follow will be eligible for all of our gifts.....and if we hit 5,000 followers, I have a very special gift for YOU....oh yes...wink...


                      Whatever your wishes are this season, these are our wishes for you...!

With warmest blessings from our cheerleading TEAM...

Jane, Carol, Katherine, Marlene,  Wendy, Corrie, Linda, Cherry, 
Pauline, Christine....These are our cheerleaders...
and a new one who will be joining the team in 2013 Mary!

ps. each day winners will be announced the next morning! 


Congrats Ramona, this book is heading your way....


( I love Mondays) by Michelle Cove

57 comments:

  1. I applaud Wendy for doing this review. I am divorced, but prefer to call myself 'single'. How long do you wear that title - divorced?

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  2. Wonder review Wendy! I think this should be a must read for everyone, married, divorced, single or widowed. jbechosend at sbcglobal dot net

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  3. Where is spell check when you need it, I meant wonderful review!

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  4. I think even happily married people could use some of these messages.At very least it would prevent making judgments without walking in those shoes.

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  5. Wendy, awesome review. You can tell it is a subject close to your heart. A great read for all. Everybody knows someone who had been divorced, and a book like this could really help understand what others are going through.

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  6. Fantastic review! This book could be a must read for everyone, not only people who are divorced.

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  7. I think people of all status should read this...great review and have a wonderful Christmas..

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  8. As said above, this would be a great book for anyone to read, married or not. I'm in the divorced 50% and find that I can be judged when they don't even know my situation. Open a book.. open your mind!

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  9. This actually sounds fascinating -- any story about women gaining strength and perspective is worth reading -- whether one has personally lived through divorce or been on the periphery of someone else's pain. Had never heard of this one before.

    Thanks, Jan

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  10. What a great reveiw! My parents divorced before I was one. My husband's parents divorced before he was one. It is so common now that I think it is great there is a book like this out there. I really wish it was there when our parents had divorced!

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  11. Well after I read the review, I went to Amazon and my copy is on its way! I too am divorced from my children's father... This will be a book that I will read front to back as soon as it arrives!

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  12. There have been two divorces in my family over the last year and it has been painful to watch from the sidelines. This sounds like a courageous book.

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  13. I have not experienced divorce personally but have had two very close friends go through this experience. Looks like a really good book. Thanks for the giveaway.

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  14. Although not divorced myself, I have experienced divorce in my family and close friends. This book sounds like it would be helpful in these hard times. Thanks for the review.

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  15. Thanks for a great review. This sounds like it would be a really good read. I'm not divorced but have experienced divorce in my family.

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  16. Wow...great review, Wendy! It looks like a book worth reading for all of us, divorced or not.

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  17. I am so happy to have just celebrated my 44th anniversary with a wonderful husband. That said, I have seen many women remain too long in a bad relationship, one of my sisters included. I hope this book can give courage to some of those women who need to move on and help to those who have already taken the first step.

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  18. Even though I love my husband dearly, and have for 24 years. This book still sounds like an interesting read.

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  19. thank you for the great review! Sounds like a interesting read. Even after 15 years, some of the comments hit home....like the "guilt because I failed" at marriage, when in fact I succeeded in making a difficult move to a better place!

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  20. Great job, Wendy! I haven't experienced divorce, but have had many people close to me go through it. This book sounds like it would be helpful to someone suffering (and I have seen that "suffering" is an apt description) from the breakup of a relationship. Thank you for reviewing this book for us! I hope it will help you in your healing process as well.

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  21. Love it! My divorce was over 10 years ago, my ex was still a friend. And we were able to be friends for our kids. Didn't keep me from feeling anger and disappointment that the future I'd always been looking forward to wasn't going to happen. The new life is so much better though. It's different!

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  22. Wendy, your review is amazing...you are an author in your own right...do I see a book in the making? Thank you for sharing your views

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  23. Been there, done that, and hope to NEVER do it again! I am blessed with a wonderful second husband, but it took me 10 years of being single before I found him. Thanks for sharing another great book Mdm Samm!

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  24. Sounds like this is the book I should have had "then"!

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  25. Great review Wendy, thank you for sharing with us. This book will inspire many.

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  26. I bet the stories from this book resonates with a lot of women. I was married in a whirlwind and divorced almost as quickly. It took ten years to take the plunge again! Wendy did a great job reviewing, too -- I definitely want to read it! :)

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  27. Important topic, just as they all have been so far.

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  28. I`d like to read this book though I have not been divorced. The author has a lot to offer about change and strength.

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  29. Thanks for the great review. Where was this book 40 years ago... being divorced then was a real stigma. I will put this one on my list for sure.
    Thanks again what a great blog! So much wonderful information.

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  30. I have had 3 divorces, everyone said that I should write a book, but who had time for that with 3 children 2 jobs and each boy in baseball, football, PTA... broken down car, etc... Today, my children are grown men and great parents so I did something right and on Fathers day, they celebrate ME !

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  31. Great book for so many women. I think this would be helpful to some of my divorced friends.

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  32. Rosemary B here:
    I enjoyed reading this review.
    God's blessings to you, Wendy ♥

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  33. A lovely review of a difficult and interesting topic.
    Thank you Wendy

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  34. This is long overdue and would have been so helpful to me back in 'the day.' It took me a long, long time to reach the point of divorce, and an even longer time to allow myself to move forward. But honestly, although I have many (many) regrets in my life, I have never for an instance regretted that divorce, just that it took me so long to accept it. Nothing in life, I guess, is good or bad, it's all what we make of it. And divorce, for me, eventually made things good again.

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  35. This book looks great. I have a newly divorced friend who I would gift this to (after I read it!)

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  36. I can relate to so many of the things that you described in your thoughtful review-thank you for telling us about this book. The sense of failure after my divorce was a real problem for me, even though I told myself I was strong and that I was doing what had to be done. It's been years now since my divorce, and life moves on in good ways. Reading the stories of other women is always an inspiration for me.
    One of my personal "therapies" when I was alone after the divorce was to teach myself hand applique. I spent many calm, peaceful evenings with fabric and an needle in my hands.

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  37. Wendy, what a beautiful review! From a beautiful woman. I had no idea you were going through this. And to think you extended your hand to help me out when all this was going on!
    Samm you sure do find the neatest women! And in your generosity, connect us all. I miss you lady!

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  38. Really nice job Wendy. I think so many of us have been impacted by divorce in one way or another. Loved the tulip part.

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  39. Sounds like a great read for everyone... thanks!

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  40. Very well done Wendy about a Candace Walsh's book that is so very worthy of our attention. Having lost a husband at age 33 to death and then divorced a husband at age 47, I can honestly say that the divorce was far worse emotionally on me and if only I could have read a book like this to have understanding. Wonderfully married to my true soul mate now - but do believe I had to go through the pain and sorrow to get to the wonderful. Thanks Samm and our most generous sponsors for linking us all up. Judy C

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  41. Great review. I think anyone would benefit from reading this book.

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  42. thanks you Wendy for giving us a great review on this book. I am Happily married but I came from a divorced family..... back when it was not so common or at least I did not think so at the age of 6.
    in stitches

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  43. Wow, I thought I had completely missed something on your blog until you said thanks Wendy! So glad she was able to review something so close to her and all of us who are touched by divorce. Why is it women are always to blame when marriages fail, kids misbehave, things go wrong, but men get the praise? How can we not help but feel like we've failed. Thanks for the review.

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  44. Sounds like a great book for all of us, not just divorced women. I'm sure we all can get something out of it. Thanks for sharing. bonnielarson58@gmail.com

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  45. This sounds like an excellent book. If won, I'd give it to a friend of mine who's ex-husband has forced her to be much stronger than she ever thought she could be, for the sake of her sons!

    Fawn

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  46. Wendy did a fabulous job on the review. I am one of the half that can relate, but have since been happily married for twenty-two years to my wonderful husband. No one knows unless they've walked in your shoes.

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  47. WOW! I need to find this book! The books I have read have been so NOT helpful but it sounds like this one is different! Thanks so much for the review!

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  48. What a great review Wendy did on this one - it sounds like a really great read! blessings, marlene

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  49. Interesting review. Even I was able to take something from it - Strength means being true to yourself, but it doesn't always mean being happy right this moment...

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  50. Hmmmm, interesting. It needs further investigation, I think.

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  51. Great review. Sounds like a good book that we could learn a lot from. Great blog.

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  52. A great review Wendy. I have been blessed to have been happily married for over 42 years, but I have experience the pain of divorce in my family. Seeing their tears and sadness was like living their pain. Nobody will ever say it is easy but to find happiness and trust again you have to find the strength and courage to remove yourself from the unhappiness and fear. I think this would be a good book for everyone to read. Thanks for sharing Wendy...happiness will follow, you deserve it!!

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  53. Been there done that... Thanks for featuring her!

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  54. It can't have been easy for you to read the book and write the review....I applaude you! Wishing you all happiness! You so deserve it. You have had some very harsh examples set before you.

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You think they are just words...they are sew much more than that...your wee messages tell me, you are kind, smart and important...